online..

Crap does not even come close to describing my day yesterday, I kid you not, by the end of it, I was curled up in a ball in bed, afraid to go out lest one more thing goes wrong. He consoled me, told me to go to sleep, tomorrow was bound to be better than ‘today’ had been. Really very sweet of him, considering he is battling the awfullest cold ever, but stubbornly refuses to go see a doctor (machismo in play, plus he says nurses know more than doctors anyway so he’s getting the best deal yet, lol. These men!!!) Anywho, since he couldn’t give me a hug anyway(the cold notwithstanding, he was miles away), he just called me and talked me through it, kinda like his way of trying to be there, really sweet, I thinks (if you tell him I said that, he’ll cringe so please don’t, ok?). anyway, so I start watching a couple of movies (really very brave of me, considering it’s a wonder I dint get electrocuted while putting in the DVD[yes, it had been that kind of day, I kid you not!]). Before I did, though, I picked up my phone and went on fb and updated my status, declaring I have never needed a hug so bad. I was amazed how many people actually sent one my way, via wall, inbox and status comments, so grateful was I, I actually cried (quote me on this, you are so dead!! lol). Anywho, back to em movies, I was watching this one called online, really weird movie, come to think of it, but this one time it kinda struck a chord with me. There’s this chic who’s just discovered the guy she’s been going out with shagged his roomies date in the bathroom, and she decides to get drunk and pop a coupla pills to soften the blow, but she’s online n this chat room for people with suicidal ideation(sometimes I feel like looking into joining one of them just in case, but that’s a story for another day…) and there’s this guy she usually cheers up cos his life is kinda messed up cos he’s gay but a gay virgin (work that one out, Einstein)in love with a guy in another state, (uwi, I’m getting carried away with the storyline, pretty soon it’ll look like a synopsis of the movie if I’m not careful, lol.). Anyway, she ODs as he watches, too drunk to take note, and when she passes out and he is unable to rouse her, he reaches out to his crash from interstate who then makes a connection, and reaches out to a chic he usually chats with, even going over to her house when he cant reach her online, they reach out to the boyfriend’s roomie and at the end of it all her life is saved. I have heard a lot of people talk ill of the internet, and of how many horrid things could happen, but alls I know, is that there is also a lot of good that can come from it too,. Yesterday, when I could have cheerfully sawn my right arm off for a hug, I had people reach out to me and pseudo give me one, and I realised I am not alone, and sometimes that really is the greatest feeling of all. I have met some of the people I consider my erstwhile closest and dearest online, and yes, I know how this sounds even before I say it, but I have a humongous crush online too, so u see, a lot of interesting things happen online. There is something about not being face to face that removes some barriers, that releases me to be me, without seeing the faces that judge, I can somehow ignore them, and live for the sake of living. And that, my friend is a very sweet way to live, TRUST ME!!!