mars vs venus...

Forgive me if this one tends to get a little bit on the emotional side, its on a topic close to my heart so I’ll try keep them emotions checked, but if they sep through, consider yourself forewarned. Aye? Ok, I have been chewing on this one for a while but only just kinda exploded the first time that I watched ‘why did I get married?’, a movie by one Tyler Perry. Surely, you’ve heard of him? He of the ‘diary of a mad black woman’ fame. No? that’s probably cause you’re either in Australia or that you work around the time Oprah comes on cause she caused quite a fuss about how good the said ‘diary of a mad black woman’ movie was. My cousin had us in stitches regaling us with tales of the looks she got when she went around Adelaide looking for the movie when it first came out. Inspired me to try looking and that was a fun experience to say the least, suffice to say most of the people I encountered were pretty sure I was looking for my diary but using some sort of code so they didn’t figure out the fact that I was crazy and take me back to Glenside( for those out of the know[yes I know how that sounds!], Glenside is Adelaide speak for Mathare) where I had most assuredly escaped from, so stealthily hedging towards their phones. You had to be there! But, as usual, I digress.

Anywho, in ‘why did I get married?’, there’s four couples and four sorts of drama, you know the kind, right? Except there’s one couple with a woman of generous proportions married to the biggest butthole who ever walked the earth. Constantly putting her down, and not nicely, cheating on her, all this ending ion divorce, right? Anyway, the introduction of us to them is of her getting kicked off the plane cause a person her size needs to buy two tickets, and him giving her money to buy gas for the car so she can drive up to the couple’s retreat while him and her very hot girlfriend fly up and meet her over there. Now by this point I was mouth agape thinking if I was her friend there would be no discussion, we’d drive to Las Vegas together and clean out his accounts on licentious living just to teach the fecker a lesson, but that’s just me, I’m getting side-tracked here. What am I saying? I’m reflecting as we go into the new year about how many people I know who are in a relationship where they don’t want to be, with someone who doesn’t even like them, ( I think my biggest aha moment happened when I realised men also have this happen to them!) simply because its easier than starting over.

This oldie at work was telling me about his wife who is the reason he hates Christmas because she died on Christmas day from a very aggressive cancer. He told me how the diagnosis was so heartbreaking for him as he’d only been married to her for 20 years when it came( I know! I want a man who will consider 20 years with me ‘only’ too!!!). his relative who’s a cancer research scientist gave it to them straight. Chemo basically works by poisoning all your cells in the hope that when your body makes new ones, they are cancer free ones, then she gave him some advice, give her a good remaining time. Long story short, they went on cruises, spent pretty much all their money on one adventure after another and from the gleam in his eye and the dreamy glazed look that comes over him, you can tell they really enjoyed themselves. He tells me of one time they just came off a house boat adventure, and she said to him that that had been the most fun she’d ever had, and he just paid for another week and they went back.

Now, my main thought (among others, as usual, hehehehe) is this, why does it take near death, or anguishing moments, or even the promise of death to appreciate our partners? How many times had my darling oldie’s wife requested they go on a cruise before the diagnosis and it had just seemed uneconomical, or too fickle? Why did it take Sheila in ‘why did I get married’ being betrayed in the worst way, and left, to acknowledge it wasn’t working? Why do we bury our heads in the sand, and stay in relationships, or even friendships whose main purpose in life is to drain us of our dignity, go on, you know those pals who see your hot new look and notice your chipped tip of the little toenail polish, and suddenly instead of sexy, you’re feeling self conscious. The ones where you’re telling your pal about this absolutely great guy you just met and things look promising with and they ask you if he drives, and when you say no, they sneer until you esteem him too lowly for your fine self (then spend your life moving from one butthead to the next and wondering why you never find a guy who loves you for you. Babe please! Wake up and smell the bougainvillea!!!). guys, you’re always wondering why chics are so materialistic, well, most of us have to have a guy our girlfriends can approve of and if our girlfriends are materialistic, well sweets you’re fresh outta luck. Same with looks, and all that other crap you’re always whinging girls are picky with. Now, I’m not asking you to leave your sweetie, sugar as long as its working for you, work it. But tell me this, if you found out that the person you were with right now (and am talking about friends, friends with benefits, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, the works!) was the person you would be with forever, would you write a dirge, or a celebratory chorus? No, don’t start looking for you hubby or wifie now if you don’t want to, or aren’t ready. Alls I’m saying is, find someone who makes you happy, really really happy, who you look forward to seeing, not for the rampant sex( I know that helps, lol) you’re going to have, but simply because spending time with them is so much fun. Wait, now I sound like I’m giving you advise!!! Well, its for myself, but feel free to pick any that may work for you, so now I have some candidates to interview, si we’ll talk later? Tihihihihi.

Oops, just realised I think this is my longest one yet! Sorry, I will go for classes, I reckon I’m a lost cause. J